Here are the things I've learned as well as the helpful anecdotes or advice we got from those we met along the way to our one year anniversary:
- If someone says that a place is "ten-minutes away" that means it is FAR in my own Filipino definition of time and distance. - In the Philippines, if a place is ten to thirty minutes away, that means that it is near. It's the metro vehicular traffic that makes the journey long. Here, if a place is thirty minutes away, you'd end up in a location as far a Subic is from Manila. I learned this the hard way when I ventured out to bring Polo to the nearest playground on my first hands-on day with him. Only to find out that the playground was as far as Glorietta 4 is from Fort Bonifacio!
- You are pregnant, not handicapped. You are in a delicate condition but you are still capable. - Words spoken to my pregnant friend. Words also given to me by the trainer who gave our one-on-one Cultural introduction to Luxembourg. It helped me make the paradigm and cultural shift. I no longer have help from household servants or from family to rely on. I have to do everything by myself. I cannot rely on my husband to do everything because I am pregnant. I cannot wait until I am no longer pregnant to do things (because I would definitely have a lot more on my hands by then). My attitude transformed to: "I can do this!" "The time is now!"
- Don't wait for good weather to go out and do something because there's no such thing as "good weather". Instead, wear weather-appropriate clothes. - Advice again from the trainer who gave our one-on-one Cultural into to Luxembourg. Very practical advice. In the Philippines, if it is raining or stormy, children should stay indoors. We wait until there is good weather to have them run about outdoors. Here, the sun only shines well in 2-3 out of 12 months. If we wait for the sun, the children will never get to run outside. We were also introduced to season-appropriate footwear and jackets. I never knew that there was such a thing because in a tropical country, one layer of clothing is enough plus maybe a jacket during rainy months but that's it. Thank God for those who invented snow and waterproof footwear and outdoor wear. They softened the shock of the winter and kept us warm and cozy.
- Time Management = Managing your energy - Marvin got this from one of his colleagues. This is very practical. It helps in maintaining a good work-life balance. What will you do with all your time if you don't have any energy left to use it? We cannot use up our energy on trivial things. We have to spread them out and save some for quality time with the family. Likewise, we can no longer stay up late as we're used to before. For one, we are not getting any younger and then, two, we will end up cranky and irritable the next day. Cranky and irritable doesn't go well with taking care of children.
- Dirt is Good (as the ad for a certain laundry soap goes). It helps develop the children's immune system. - Living in the Philippines with a yaya (what we call a nanny) to look after your children almost 24 hours a day, it's easy to keep the children away from dirt in malls, parks and in the house. Since we don't have the luxury of having a yaya here, I have to allow my children to explore and discover on their own and that means encounter dirt, touch the grass! I've even seen parents who have their children taste the dirt from grass and sand. We have to let the children roam free and in the process, get in contact with manageable dirt because playing outdoors in good weather is a luxury here. It's not everyday that the weather permits them to walk barefoot on the grass and sand in the parks and playgrounds. Most of the time, their tiny little feet and hands are covered with 2-3 layers of clothing to keep them warm so when possible, we should have them play freely and explore.
- There are 24 hours in a day. How can you say that you don't have enough time. - This is what my Mom always says when I say that I don't have enough time. Come to think of it, If my 12-hour day is not enough, I can use some of my shut-eye time to do leftover chores or tasks.
- Ask the right kind of questions to get the answers you need. - Europeans especially Luxembourgers are not friendly and customer-friendly people. They are not friendly or helpful enough to volunteer information but they are keen on giving you the right answer. So to get by, we have to ask the right questions, meaning more direct questions, and to keep asking until we get the answer we need.
- Learn, explore! Mix entertainment with culture. - In the Philippines, there were a lot of things to entertain families. We have malls where children run and explore. We have affordable cinemas for escaping from all the stress. The children have TimeZone! But here, more value is given on natural exploration and culture discovery for entertainment. It's not all about lights and sounds here but more of natural life discovery. Getting wet in the waterworks in the playground on a summer day. Running around in parks. Throwing snowballs and making snow angels in the winter. Collecting nice colored autumn leaves and pine cones in the autumn. I also realized that if lights and sounds were the form of entertainment for children here, the parents will end up more stressed out. With the children playing in the natural environment, there is less stress, more learning and exploration.
- Just imagine you are in Baguio, not in Luxembourg. - This is what my Ate (eldest sister) told me when I cried during one of their going-away parties for us. To manage the homesickness, she said, I shouldn't think that we are very, very, very far away. I should just think that I am in the Mountain Province region in the Philippines where it is cold (in Filipino terms and not in European terms) and at least 6 hours away from the Metro. Thanks to facebook and skype, it feels like we are just in Baguio sometimes.
- "One step at a time. There's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly or falling in love. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen and then you'll find the reason why one step at a time..." - So goes the song from Jordin Sparks, an American Idol Winner. I love it! It reminds me that there is a time for everything as well as rhyme and reason for the way things happen. When crunch time happens for me like when I am running late in preparing dinner with the dishes still in the sink and my baby N crying for milk, the first few words of this song come to me and remind me to relax and save myself from being overwhelmed. I will finish everything one step at a time, little by little.
